Is scared. Needs guidance
The last few days I have been involved in conversations with a few different people about age, and life after student-life, and I have to tell you - I’m fucking terrified by the whole idea of turning 23 in three weeks time, and of graduating in 18 months, and of being a 25 year old recent graduate with no job, no wife, no children and no prospects.
What the fuck am I going to do? By the time my dad was my age, he was running his own business, had a wife, three kids, a mortgage and two cars. Granted, my parents didn’t have it easy, but still, at least they had their paths laid out before them by the time they were my age. The thing that bothers me the most is the uncertainty of it all. I don’t know where I’ll be living in two years time, and when I say that, I really mean, I don’t fucking know. It could feasibly be anywhere in the world. And that raises the bigger problem. I’m living now in Japan, I’ll be living in six months back in England, then after a year I’ll probably be leaving Liverpool and moving somewhere else. How the fuck am I supposed to try and forge a long term relationship with a person when I’m moving around so fucking often? Please, help me out here.
Lets say - for arguments sake - that I met someone here in Japan, and that I like her, and think we could be good together, how can I enter into a relationship with them knowing that in June I will be moving to the otherside of the chuffing planet?
Fuck it. Fuck it all. I”m over being a student, and being too fucking pre-occupied with my own situation to really fucking enjoy living. I’m 23 this month for fucks sake, and I’m beginning to sound like a 35 year old man. I must be getting old.
